


Watcher

by Accal1a



Category: King Falls AM (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Haunting, M/M, Tears, The Void
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-16
Updated: 2018-03-16
Packaged: 2019-03-31 23:01:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13985169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Accal1a/pseuds/Accal1a
Summary: Jack can't affect the world like he wants to, but that doesn't mean he's not watching, giving support anyway.





	Watcher

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> This is all my dear friend, [Causteek](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Causteek)'s fault. How dare you introduce me to such an amazing Podcast? How dare you drag me down into this Podcast Hell with you? How dare you listen to my prompt ideas and then encourage me?

Jack knew that Debbie had managed to breach through into the real world, that she had managed to talk with people, had managed to talk to _Sammy_ , but he couldn't do it. He didn't know if it was because he was new, or whether it was because he wasn't strong enough, but he knew that whatever it was, he was a failure.

He hadn't stopped trying, he'd never stop trying, but he had slowed down on his mission. He could see his Sammy was hurting, could see that he needed support, but he wasn't getting it. He wanted to scream at him, _had_ screamed at him, that it was okay to talk about it. That Ben would understand. He knew, as soon as he'd seen Ben, that Sammy could trust him. He knew that Ben would help him to deal with this frankly bonkers situation; but Sammy never spoke to him.

Then Sammy had started to get friends, had really started to...maybe not like the place he was in, but he was starting to open up, feel like he belonged. Jack saw that and started to hope that Sammy would be okay, that he would be able to accept his disappearance, that he might be able to move on, might start to live again instead of just existing.

He'd heard it in the way he'd spoken to Lily, heard it in the way he'd been so falsely bright. Jack had wanted to scream at Ben. He'd wanted to ask him why he couldn't see what was going on right in front of him, but he couldn't. All he could do was watch as Sammy fell apart.

When Greg Frickard had outed Sammy to the entire town, Jack wished more than anything that he had the ability to have form, the ability to cause serious harm. No-one should take that power away from someone, but especially not from Sammy, especially as he was only barely holding it together. 

“I can't do this anymore, Jack. I can't be here, not without you.” Sammy whispered into the darkness of his bedroom. “It's too damn hard.”

Jack sat next to Sammy on the bed, so close and yet so far away. He reached out to touch his partner, but nothing happened. There wasn't a wall, he didn't pass through him, it was just nothing. He'd known they were separate, but this was the first time he'd tried something like this and the gulf between them suddenly hit him full force. They were in other worlds, and he had no idea if there was enough 'him' left to make it back. He didn't know whether he'd spend the rest of eternity watching, unable to offer comfort to the person he loved.

“I'm here, Sammy. I'm here.”

“It's just so...it's not the same without you here. Nothing is the same. I'm in this _stupid_ town, a town I'd never have even known about if it weren't for this fucking paranormal shit. I just...I can't believe this happened to you, to us. This shouldn't even be an issue, this shit wasn't supposed to be real. But it is real and you're caught up in it and I've lost you. Jack I've fucking lost you and I can't...”

Jack sat impotently next to his boyfriend, wishing on everything in the universe that he could offer him some comfort, that he could just give him some peace, but it was denied to him.

“I don't even know why I'm talking to you.” Sammy said, hugging himself closely, trying to trick himself into gaining comfort. “It's not like you're here...”

“I am. I am and I'm not going anywhere.”

“Ben thinks he can bring you back. Ben, who went to the ends of the Earth for his own happy ending thinks he can give me mine. I love him for trying, but it's not going to work. He won't hear me that you're gone, that there's nothing he can do. He's tenacious, just like you were.”

“ _Are_.”

“But the thing is,” Sammy said, starting to cry, “the thing is I can't let him talk me into feeling hope like this. He's so earnest, I know that he's going to try. I won't begrudge him that, it's how he works, he sees a problem and he wants to fix it...but I can't let myself hope, I can't let myself feel that this is a possibility. I have to remember that you're gone. I have to keep reminding myself that I'm never going to see you again. I'm never going to hear your laugh. I'm never going to see the way the tips of your ears turn red when you blush. I'm never going to hear you rant about the New York Times crossword puzzle. I'm never going to be able to snuggle with you on lazy Sunday mornings. I'm never going to see those stupid little post its you'd leave all over my desk again, confusing me mid-broadcast. I'm never going to get to see the way your eyes sparkled when I said 'I love you', like you can't quite believe it.”

“You will. You will, I'll come back to you.”

“Ben wants me to hope, but I can't. If I give into that hope, I'll be lost. If I hope and you don't come back, I'll _break_. I'm a coward, I don't want that. So I'll fight against him, I'll fight him every day on this, because I can't lose you for a second time. I won't survive it. I love you so much, Jack. So much. I wish you were here with me, but wherever you actually are, I hope you have some form a peace. You deserve that, if nothing else.”

“You can get through this. _We_ can get through this. You're so much stronger than you think you are.”

Sammy lay down, still holding himself, as if that could keep him together, just before he dropped off into a restless sleep, he whispered into the silence. “I love you, Jack.” 

He swore he heard a familiar voice say it back.

**Author's Note:**

> I sobbed writing this. Not. On.


End file.
